For this installment of “I Love Lucy in the Movies,” I’m covering Ladies in Retirement (1941) which I watched last night. This is a very good gothic film noir starring Ida Lupino. Also starring in this film was Elsa Lanchester as one of Lupino’s mentally ill sisters. Aside from this film, another thing Lupino and Lanchester have in common is that they both appeared in I Love Lucy. Lupino, to be accurate, actually played herself in an episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour. I’m counting it because The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour is more or less a one-hour episode of I Love Lucy.
In 1956, after six years and 180 30-minute episodes, Desilu president and I Love Lucy star, Desi Arnaz, was eager to leave the hectic pace of producing a new episode every week. He had tried to end the series a year prior with “Return Home From Europe” being the final episode, but CBS threw money at him and Lucy to convince them to stay on another year. The ending dialogue in “Return Home From Europe” sounds like it was written to be a series finale. To convince CBS to allow him to pull the plug on I Love Lucy, Desi convinced them to allow him to air I Love Lucy as a 60-minute special sporadically throughout the year. CBS agreed and The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour was born.
The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, while more or less an hour long episode of I Love Lucy, it did have the minor difference in that each episode featured a celebrity who has an unfortunate encounter with Lucy. Logically, it makes sense, as Ricky Ricardo’s celebrity and ownership of Club Babalu makes it logical that he’d either hire these celebrities at his club, or he’d met them previously because of his time in Hollywood.
Ida Lupino and Elsa Lanchester appeared together in 1941’s Ladies in Retirement. In this film, Lupino plays Ellen, the spinster sister of her two mentally ill sisters, Emily and Louisa. Lanchester played Emily. In the film, Ellen receives a letter from the boarding house in London where her sisters are living. The letter informs her that Emily and Louisa are being evicted from the home due to their behavior. Not wanting her sisters to be institutionalized, Ellen brings them to the home on the English moors where she works and lives. Ellen’s employer, Miss Fiske, graciously allows the two sisters to stay in her home, but quickly grows tired of their behavior. Eventually Miss Fiske gives Ellen the ultimatum that the sisters need to leave. Ellen tries to defend her sisters, but insults Miss Fiske in the process, and is fired. Later, taking matters into her own hands, Ellen strangles Miss Fiske to death. She makes it look as if Miss Fiske decided to take an extended trip. Ellen tells her sisters that she purchased the home for them. Eventually Miss Fiske’s absence and Ellen’s behavior arouses the suspicions of her nephew and the maid, Lucy.
Ida Lupino (center) and Elsa Lanchester (right) in “Ladies in Retirement”
The film never makes it clear what mental illness is that that the two sisters have, nor is there any indication that an event may have triggered or caused their mental illness. It is also unclear whether Emily and Louisa are actually mentally ill, or whether they are just eccentric. Elsa Lanchester excelled at playing these slightly off-kilter personalities.
Lanchester made her appearance on I Love Lucy first, playing “Mrs. Grundy” in a season 5 episode, “Off to Florida.” In the episode, Ricky is playing with his band at the Eden Roc Hotel in Miami, Florida. Ricky, Fred, and Little Ricky go ahead to get some fishing in before Ricky has to work. Lucy and Ethel plan to take the train and meet the men down there. However, Lucy has lost the train tickets. To save face, she decides that she and Ethel will answer a “Share a Ride” classified ad to split the travel costs with another traveler who is also headed from New York City to Miami. Mrs. Grundy answers the ad.
Vivian Vance, Lucille Ball, and Elsa Lanchester in “I Love Lucy.”
Lucy and Ethel find Mrs. Grundy’s behavior odd. She prefers to travel at night or early in the morning. She won’t stop for meals, preferring to subsist on watercress sandwiches instead. Later, Mrs. Grundy gets a flat tire and expects Lucy and Ethel to change it while she naps. While looking for tools, Lucy and Ethel find a hatchet in the trunk. Thanks to a convenient radio bulletin about gray-haired escaped hatchet murderess, Evelyn Holmby, Lucy and Ethel jump to the conclusion that this must be Mrs. Grundy. Her weird eccentricities all make sense for a woman on the lam. Later, Lucy and Ethel are asleep while Mrs. Grundy is at the wheel. She also hears a radio bulletin about Evelyn Holmby, except this bulletin has more information. Mrs. Holmby, despite being gray haired, is thought to have dyed her hair red, and is also thought to be traveling with a blond companion. Comedy ensues with Lucy and Ethel suspecting Mrs. Grundy and Mrs. Grundy suspecting them.
This is the funniest episode of the Florida trilogy, with much of the humor coming from Elsa Lanchester. Her sing-songy line delivery, and her delightful eccentricity makes the episode.
Flash forward 3 years to the 10th installment of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, “Lucy’s Summer Vacation.” There would be 13 total. Celebrity couple Ida Lupino and Howard Duff are the guest stars, playing themselves. In the episode, a mutual friend of Ricky’s and the Lupino/Duff’s double books his cabin on the lake–promising it to both of them. Both couples go to the cabin expecting a romantic week with their partner. However, when they all meet, Ricky and Howard hit it off over their mutual love of fishing and see it has an opportunity to fish, since their wives can talk to each other. The men end up spending the entire week fishing, with the women getting stuck cleaning the fish. Towards the end of the week, the women are desperate for some romantic time with their husbands and decide to sabotage the fishing expedition. The joke is on them however, when the husbands decide to throw their wives a bone and plan a romantic evening on the lake. Too bad Lucy and Ida have already sabotaged the boat.
From left to right: Ida Lupino, Desi Arnaz, Lucille Ball, and Howard Duff (hunched over) in “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.”
This episode has some funny moments. Lucy and Ida trying to discreetly plug the holes in the boat (that they put there earlier) with gum and their bodies while also trying to be romantic is pretty funny. There are some good lines. However, on a whole this isn’t one of the better hour long episodes, though it’s not the worst one (I’d give that one to the Milton Berle episode). Often in these hour long episodes, the Mertzes are kept on the sidelines during the celebrity scenes. If there’s a female celebrity, she’s often given the role that we would expect for Ethel. In this episode, Ida is definitely in the Ethel Mertz part. In the Betty Grable episode, Lucy even calls her “an Ethel Mertz with money.” The Mertzes are barely in “Lucy’s Summer Vacation.” I believe they only appear at the beginning to pick up Little Ricky to explain why he’s not in the rest of the episode.
By this point in the series, Lucy and Desi’s marriage was so strained, that they were barely speaking. The tension and stress in their marriage comes through in the last episodes of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, and it makes these episodes less enjoyable to watch. Each episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour is worth watching, but they are not the same as I Love Lucy. Lucy and Desi would divorce only a year after “Lucy’s Summer Vacation” aired. For what it’s worth, Ida Lupino and Howard Duff would divorce in 1984 after 33 years of marriage.
I’m here again with my second of three total posts about my all-time favorite television show–I Love Lucy! Everyone knows about the most famous moments of I Love Lucy–even people who have never seen an episode (they’re probably out there, hard to believe, I know), are probably aware of Vitameatavegamin. They’ve probably seen Lucy and Ethel struggling to wrap chocolates on the conveyor belt at Kramer’s Kandy Kitchen, or watched Lucy almost drown in the wine vat while stomping grapes with her large pizza-sized feet.
In this post, I wanted to highlight five underrated episodes which are just as funny as the more famous, iconic moments in the series. In this context, I’m considering “underrated” episodes to be ones that haven’t received a colorization and aren’t typically mentioned in any “Best of I Love Lucy” articles or other publications.
1. Home Movies. This is one of my favorite episodes of the entire series. It made me laugh the first time I saw it and it made me laugh the hundredth time I saw it. The episode opens with Fred and Ethel getting ready to go over to Lucy and Ricky’s for an evening of home movies–courtesy of the new film projector that Ricky has recently purchased. Fred is dreading the evening as he’s tired of watching the same home movies of Little Ricky. Fred and Ethel come up with a scheme to try and keep the conversation from lagging so that Ricky doesn’t have a chance to suggest his home movies. Unfortunately for them, they start eating Lucy’s caramels and are unable to speak. Ricky, having just purchased a new screen for his projector wants to try out the screen and once again plays the same home movies.
However, the evening ends up in shambles when Lucy falls asleep, while Fred and Ethel sneak out. Ricky is upset. He’s so upset in fact, that he informs Lucy, Fred and Ethel that he’s planning to make a television pilot film and he was going to use them as actors; but has since changed his mind. Discouraged and also never missing a chance to get into show business, Lucy decides that she will also make a television pilot film, starring herself, Fred and Ethel. She will then splice her film into Ricky’s so that he will unknowingly screen both films for the television producer.
Lucy, Fred and Ethel decide to make a western-themed show. Lucy paints a hilarious backdrop of a saloon (frankly, Lucy should look into being a backdrop artist. She’s a great painter). She and Ethel play cowboys, Tex and Nevada, respectively. They play out a typical Western scenario of two cowboys singing “I’m an Old Cowhand,” then playing cards and smoking. Nevada accuses Tex of cheatin’ which leads to a duel. Fred plays the sheriff who bursts into the saloon and wants to arrest Tex and Nevada.
Then we see Lucy at work running a film splicer and cutting the films together. However, we don’t see the end product until Ricky screens it for the producer. This film is hilarious. It starts with Ricky singing “Vaya Con Dios,” then goes into Lucy’s video, then back to Ricky, then Little Ricky, back to Lucy, then all of a sudden, it really goes haywire. The sound is mixed up with Lucy’s sound playing on top of Ricky’s video. There are random shots of Little Ricky. Then the film and sound start playing backwards, with the hilarious shot of Lucy’s cigarette smoke going back into her mouth. Then the film is sped up, then abruptly ends with Ricky’s “This is a Ricky Ricardo Production!” and Fred’s “I Got Wind of It!”
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2. Mr. and Mrs. TV Show. This episode begins with Lucy secretly having lunch at 21 (offscreen) with an executive who is acquainted with Carolyn Appleby. The executive, Harvey Cromwell, wants to do a show with Ricky. Lucy tells Ricky and is incensed when he wants to do the show, but without her. Eventually however, the executives come up with a concept for their show, a Mr. and Mrs. morning show, featuring Ricky and Lucy. Ricky is reluctant, but Cromwell insists, saying it is a “Mr. and Mrs. Show or else!” He has to convince Lucy to be a part of the show without telling her the truth. He feigns enthusiasm at her singing and makes her think that he’s going to demand that Lucy be added to the show.
Next, we see a common plot device on I Love Lucy, with Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel running through the entire show as written with no mistakes. Next up is the dress rehearsal before filming–or so they think. Cromwell tells Ricky (and only Ricky), that the “dress rehearsal” will be the actual show. They don’t want Lucy, Fred and Ethel to know they’re being filmed. It is right before the “dress rehearsal” when Lucy discovers that Ricky didn’t want her on the show after all. To get back at him, she decides to perform a different version of the show–with hilarious results. Lucy’s new performance brings my favorite line, “I woke up this morning feeling real blah. Felt like a real slob.”
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3. Bullfight Dance. This episode takes place during the Hollywood season. In this episode, Lucy is approached by Ricky’s agent to write an article called “What It’s Like to Be Married to Ricky Ricardo.” Lucy sees this as a golden opportunity. Lucy’s article is meant to promote the Heart Fund benefit that Ricky will be headlining. Lucy of course wants to be involved. Ricky of course says no. Lucy decides to blackmail Ricky by writing two versions of her article–one flattering to Ricky and the other not.
Not wanting bad publicity, Ricky concedes to Lucy’s demands. At first he asks her if she wants to do a musical number with him. He suggests a number where she sings “Humoresque” and he’ll sing “Swanee River.” Anyone familiar with these two songs will know that they both have the same medley, just different lyrics. The idea with this number is that the two performers will be singing their respective songs and then they’ll have moments of harmonization. However, Lucy keeps getting mixed up and starts singing Ricky’s song. Eventually, Ricky suggests a different number–a matador themed number. He’ll be the matador and Lucy will be the bull. Annoyed about her perceived demotion, Lucy decides to feminize the ferocious bull and steal Ricky’s thunder. She makes hilarious changes to the bull, including adding big eyelashes, lips, and a hat with flowers on it.
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4. Ricky Thinks He’s Getting Bald. In this episode, Ricky starts becoming self-conscious that his hairline is receding. Lucy thinks he’s nuts; but he can’t be convinced. He’s driving her crazy, insisting on wearing hats inside to hide his perceived baldness. To try and cure him, she decides that she’s going to purchase the most disgusting, most painful hair restoration treatment she can find.
While at the hair restoration store, she meets Mr. Thurlough, the hair restorer man. Mr. Thurlough thinks that Lucy’s talking about herself when she explains that she needs to find a treatment for someone who thinks they’re going bald. After explaining to him that it really is for her husband and not her, he tells her an anecdote about another woman and her alleged balding husband. Apparently, to convince this man that he actually had a lot of hair, the wife invited a bunch of actually bald men so he could compare. Lucy decides to do the same thing and has Mr. Thurlough hook her up with some of his bald clients. This plan fails.
At her wit’s end, Lucy decides to follow through on her original plan, to make Ricky go through the grossest, smelliest, most painful hair restoration treatment. She sits him down and starts going to work. She essentially makes a salad dressing on top of his head with oil, vinegar, and eggs. Then, she makes a mustard plaster and has Ricky put a nylon over his head. This leads to the funniest scene in the episode when Ricky pulls the nylon all the way over his face–scaring Lucy. Eventually, he covers his head in the mustard plaster and puts a heat cap on top of it, so he can bake.
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5. Lucy Raises Tulips. The penultimate episode features Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel living in the country in Connecticut. Lucy and Ricky own a large home with Fred and Ethel living in the good-sized guest home on the property. Lucy has entered the annual tulip competition, a competition which has been won by her neighbor Betty Ramsey, every year. Lucy is determined to win. The judges will be visiting her home in the next day or two and she wants Ricky to mow the lawn so that it looks nice. However, Ricky is procrastinating.
Lucy ends up trying to mow the lawn herself and runs amuck on the machine. After getting home from driving on the Boston Post Road against traffic, Lucy accidentally mows through Betty’s tulip garden. She comes up the idea to replace Betty’s yellow tulips with lifelike wax ones from the nearby store. Since Lucy was only able to mow half the lawn, Ricky opts to finish the job, however he does it in the dark, so dark it was darker than the inside of his sombrero. Unfortunately for Lucy, Ricky has accidentally mowed right through her tulip bed. To cover up his indiscretion, he decides to replace the flowers with lifelike pink wax tulips, resembling Lucy’s. Both Lucy and Betty are now competing with wax flowers.
When I learned that “The Classic Movie Muse” was holding an I Love Lucy blogathon, I knew I had to participate. I knew I had to participate enough that apparently, I felt compelled to submit three, count ’em THREE articles. Fortunately, if there’s one thing I know, it’s I Love Lucy, so it’s not requiring a lot of research or time on my part. I thought I’d start with the answers to The Classic Movie Muse’s I Love Lucy tag, as it’d be relatively easy to do.
Q:When did you first start watching I Love Lucy? A: I started watching “I Love Lucy” at around age 10-ish, so 1994, when I discovered it one evening on Nick at Nite. The first episode I saw was “L.A. at Last!” with guest star William Holden. I thought the episode and Lucy in particular, was HILARIOUS. From then on, I was a Nick at Nite devotee, I watched ‘Lucy’ every night, and then the “Whole Lotta Lucy” Saturdays, with two episodes of ‘Lucy’ and an episode of the “Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.” I also loved Nick at Nite’s Block Party Summer, because ‘Lucy’ was always featured, meaning that there were 3 hour blocks of ‘Lucy’ every week, AND “Whole Lotta Lucy Saturday.”
Q: What are your favorite I Love Lucy episodes? A: My favorite I Love Lucy episodes are:
L.A. at Last! (the burning nose episode with William Holden)
Ethel’s Birthday (the infamous hostess pants episode)
Lucy Wants a Paris Gown (Lucy and Ethel get faux Jacques Marcell Parisian dresses made of burlap)
The Black Wig (Lucy tries out the “New Italian Haircut”)
The Million Dollar Idea (Lucy and Ethel try to sell Aunt Martha’s Old Fashioned Salad Dressing)
Fred and Ethel Fight (Lucy and Ricky try to get the feuding Mertzes back together and end up in a fight themselves)
Tennessee Ernie Visits & Tennessee Ernie Hangs On (I love Ernie Ford, he’s hilarious)
Home Movies (Lucy and the Mertzes make their own Western-themed television pilot)
The Star Upstairs (CORNEL WILDE IS IN THE PENTHOUSE)
In Palm Springs (Would you like a piece of Rock, Mr. Candy?)
Q: What’s your favorite Lucy disguise or costume? A: I love all of the ridiculous rubber masks she wears in the “Harpo Marx” episode when Carolyn Appleby visits Hollywood (enroute to Hawaii) and wants to meet all the stars that Lucy has been hobnobbing with, per the postcards she’s written to friends back home. After getting Carolyn’s glasses away from her, Lucy disappears. While she’s gone, big stars like Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, and Jimmy Durante stop over (obviously all Lucy in a rubber mask). The entire thing is absurd, but is the showcase for my favorite Lucy impression–her Clark Gable impression. “Gotta little laryngitis, baby!” This also leads into Lucy’s fabulous Harpo Marx costume (and actual costume, not a mask), where she ends up reenacting the famous mirror bit from “Duck Soup” with Harpo himself. Harpo just happens to be at the hotel performing in a benefit.
Q: If you could own one prop from the show, what would it be? A: I want to own that bizarre device from “The Marriage License” that Lucy finds while she’s cleaning out her desk. Neither she nor Ethel know what it is; but Lucy can’t throw it away “because it might be something I need!”
Q: Which secondary character do you enjoy the most? A: I love Tennessee Ernie. He is hilarious. “Normally I toss and turn, but not in that thing!”
Q: You’re planning a get together with Lucy, Ricky, Fred & Ethel. What is the order of the day? A: This is assuming that I am alive in the 1950s and lived in the I Love Lucy-universe, obviously. I would plan this party while the gang is still in Hollywood. This is an all-day extravaganza. First we’d go down to the pool, to see who’s hanging out, since all the stars seem to be poolside at the Beverly Palms. Then we’d go to the Brown Derby so that I could be a “Johnny Jump Up” with Lucy and Ethel. I want to try the famous Derby Cobb Salad. I would also be like Lucy and look at all the caricatures on the wall. I would hob with every nob that was worth hobbing with. Then, we’d all go down to Grauman’s Chinese Theater, so that I could sit on Bill Holden and maybe see a movie. After that, we’d go back to the hotel and hope that we run into Bobby the bellboy. Then, because I always wanted to go to one of those big Hollywood clubs, we’d all go to the Mocambo, using Ricky’s clout of course to get in. I’d play “Mother, May I?” when choosing between Fred or Ricky to dance with, obviously, after I was done saying “My mother told me to pick YOUUUU!” I’d dance with Ricky. Hopefully, Ricky will be summoned to the stage to sing a couple numbers, preferably “Babalu.” By then, it’ll be time to return to the hotel and call it a day.
Q: Which I Love Lucy catchphrase do you find yourself using the most? A: I don’t know if it’s a catchphrase per se, but I find myself using the “are you having trouble with your liver?” line from “Lucy Writes a Play” a lot. I also use Lucy’s “Mertz?!” line from “In Palm Springs” a lot. Finally, I enjoy the entire exchange in “Home Movies,” with “Smile when you say that,” “no man can say that to me,” and “Are you accusin’ me of cheatin’?”
Q: What’s your favorite musical moment from the show? A: I love the “I’m an Old Cowhand from the Rio Grande” song from “Home Movies” as well as Lucy’s lip-syncing to Carmen Miranda’s “Mamãe Eu Quero” from “Be a Pal.”
Q: If I Love Lucy had a “lost episode” that you could watch, what kind of plot would you want? A: I would love to see an episode featuring Albert and his wife from apartment 4B. “Albert! Albert! Are you coming?” “I told you I’d be there in a minute!” OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKES ALBERT, GO EAT YOUR LUNCH!
Q: What’s something you’ve learned from I Love Lucy about comedy, relationships or life? A: That good friends are worth keeping and investing in the relationship. To this day, I have never been friendless. I have friends.
Q: Why do you think I Love Lucy has remained popular for so many generations? A: I think it has remained popular because Lucy’s humor is timeless. Even as crazy as Lucy Ricardo can be, all of her schemes start from a plausible premise and go awry–something that could conceivably happen to anyone. Take “Million Dollar Idea” as an example. Lucy makes good salad dressing. She and the Mertzes think that there’s money to be made. Lucy and Ethel figure out that they can use their connections with Carolyn Appleby and her husband to get on TV to market the dressing. Only they underestimate the cost of overhead and production and don’t markup their product enough. They also underestimate their demand. They try to “unsell” it, only to get MORE orders.
Also, save for the occasional reference to a 1950s figure like Kinsey, or Harry S. Truman, or Mamie and Dwight Eisenhower, I Love Lucy isn’t topical. There aren’t episodes talking about the Red Scare, or the Korean War or anything like that. That’s why shows such as All in the Family from the 1970s that very much dealt which issues at the time can feel outdated and younger generations can’t even connect with it. I Love Lucy doesn’t have that issue. Lucille Ball and I Love Lucy are like the famous silent film comedians (Chaplin, Keaton and Lloyd) who have all endured, even 100 years later. Funny is funny, no matter the time period.
Finally, I think that Lucy and Desi’s decision to film the show versus using kinescope is one of the biggest reasons that the show endures. Look at The Honeymooners, a show considered to be groundbreaking and a major sitcom of the 1950s. However, it was filmed on kinescope, so the quality is really really poor. While The Honeymooners is known and episodes can probably be seen here and there, nobody is clamoring to rewatch old episodes of a 70-year old show on kinescope.
Ed and Trixie Norton. Barney and Betty Rubble. Rhoda Morgenstern. Abner and Gladys Kravitz. Classic television is full of iconic neighbors. The most iconic of all neighbors, I would argue, are Fred and Ethel Mertz (William Frawley and Vivian Vance)–the neighbors and landlords of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz) on I Love Lucy. The Ricardos and Mertzes have a unique relationship in that not only are Lucy and Ricky tenants in the Mertzes’ New York City brownstone at 623 E. 68th Street, they are also best friends. One has to wonder how the other tenants, Mrs. Trumbull, Grace Foster, Mrs. Lewis, Albert in 4B who needs to eat his lunch, the Bensons, and countless others feel about their landlords’ close relationship with one of their fellow tenants. The Ricardos, no doubt receive special treatment from their friends.
Regardless, the other tenants don’t matter because I Love Lucy is about the Ricardos and Mertzes. Like all people who have been in close 10+ year long relationships, there are bound to be some disagreements. Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel are four different people, they aren’t going to get along 100% all the time. For every five episodes where everyone gets along, there will be an episode with an argument. One of the best parts of I Love Lucy is the way that the show will pair up the characters in an argument. Sometimes Lucy and Ricky will be at odds, other times it’ll be Lucy and Ethel, sometimes it could be the Mertzes versus the Ricardos, there are even episodes with Lucy, Ethel and Fred teaming up against Ricky.
In this blog entry, I would like to focus on the five funniest feuds that took place on I Love Lucy, featuring any combination of the characters.
Ethel’s hostess pants. Frankly, I think Lucy would look great in the outfit she describes. I would have loved to have seen Lucy wear them in a later episode.
#1Ethel’s Birthday
It’s Ethel’s birthday in this episode and it’s hysterical. Through dialogue, we learn that Ethel’s age falls between the Speedy Cleaners’ 40th Birthday and Goldblatt’s Delicatessen’s 50th. Lucy and Ricky plan to gift a set of tickets to Frank Loesser’s latest show–“Over the Teacups,” the hottest show in town. For his gift, Fred enlists Lucy’s help to pick something out for Ethel. Fred claims that Ethel hinted that she wanted a toaster. Lucy is aghast, telling Fred that women don’t want something practical like a toaster. They want a “gifty gift.” Lucy ends up picking out a pair of harlequined, sequined “hostess pants.” While we only see the pants in black and white, I like to imagine that they have black, orange and yellow diamonds with a white background and gold sequins.
Ethel finds her gift in the closet and opens the hostess pants in front of Lucy. Ethel is disgusted, stating that “these (the pants) make Fred’s other gifts look great.” Lucy tries to defend the pants, but Ethel is not persuaded. When Ethel makes a crack that she’d like to see what idiot talked Fred into these pants, Lucy admits that it was her idea. Ethel is flabbergasted that Lucy could think she wanted these pants. Lucy is insulted that Ethel hated her gift. This scene culminates into Lucy calling Ethel old and fat.
Eventually, the time comes for the Ricardos and Mertzes to go to the Broadway show. Lucy and Ethel end up seated next to each other and continue their feud–much to the annoyance of everyone, but especially the man behind them. The funniest part of this scene is when Lucy asks to borrow Fred’s binoculars and he declares “I don’t care!” Ethel and Lucy continue playing tug o’ war with the binoculars until the man behind them has had enough. He grabs the binoculars, cracks them in half and gives one side to each woman. Ethel grabs both pieces and slides them under the seat, looking sheepishly at Fred, hoping he doesn’t notice. The play features some dialogue that hits close to home and brings Lucy and Ethel to tears and mends their broken friendship. The two women finish watching the play arm in arm.
LUCY: Happy Birthday, Mrs. Mertz. I hope you live another 75 years!
ETHEL: She (Lucy) said I looked like a hippopotamus. LUCY: I merely intimated that she was a little hippy; but on second glance, she does have the biggest ‘potamus’ I’ve ever seen!
Lucille Ball as “Lucy” and Vivian Vance as “Ethel” in I Love Lucy
The Ricardos and Mertzes settle things with a pie fight.
#2 The Diner
Ricky Ricardo is sick and tired of the nightclub game. After a particularly bad evening featuring an act that was a no-call, no-show, and losing power, he dramatically declares that he’s done with show business. Looking through the classifieds, Ricky finds a for sale listing for a diner. Ricky expresses his dream to open a diner that sells Cuban-style food. He proposes the idea to Fred who is intrigued. Soon the two men go into business together and the diner, “Little Bit of Cuba,” is born. The original arrangement has Lucy and Ricky in the front of the house greeting and seating customers, Fred taking and giving orders, and Ethel cooking in the back. However, the Mertzes soon tire of doing all the hard work while Lucy and Ricky chat with the customers and talk about how easy running a diner is–or as Fred puts it, “leading a gay social whirl up front.” The Mertzes suggest to the Ricardos that they switch places. Ricky is incensed, stating that “[he] has the name” and Fred “has the know-how.” Fred doesn’t care and wants a break.
The Mertzes walk off the job leaving the Ricardos to run the diner. Ricky greets, seats and waits on the guests while Lucy is cooking. However, despite there only being four customers who arrive at different times, Lucy is unable to keep up with the rush. Eventually, the Mertzes return, wanting Ricky to buy out Fred’s share. Unable to afford to do so, the couples end up splitting the diner, with “Little Bit of Cuba” on one side and “Big Hunk of America” on the other. The funniest scene has Lucy and Ethel trying to one-up each other to win the business of the drunk at the counter. Ethel offers 1-cent hamburgers. Lucy gives the drunk $1 so he can order 100 hamburgers. Eventually this rivalry leads to an all out pie fight with every character getting a pie in the kisser. The episode ends with the original owner returning under the guise of missing the old place. He sells the place back to the Ricardos and Mertzes at a lower cost than what they paid. The owner then admits to the drunk that he makes a fortune selling and buying the same diner over and over to people who want to go into business themselves.
RICKY: Where’s your ‘know-how’ now? We’ve got no customers no how!
Desi Arnaz as “Ricky” in I Love Lucy
I don’t know why, but Lucy with her hat on her bandaged head makes me laugh.
#3Fred and Ethel Fight
Fred and Ethel are fighting and have been fighting long enough for Fred to be living at the YMCA. Ethel is miserable and Fred seemingly is having the time of his life. Wanting her friends to get back together, Lucy invites Ethel and Fred over for dinner without the other knowing. At dinner time, Ethel and Fred are none too pleased to learn that they’ve been duped. However, not wanting to turn down a free meal, both agree to stay. They eventually work things out and are back together. However, Lucy and Ricky end up getting into an argument while trying to tell Fred and Ethel about an argument that they had and resolved. Lucy is convinced she put an end to the argument while Ricky says that he did. The evening ends up concluding with Ricky dramatically leaving. For the next few days, Ricky and Lucy are estranged and the Mertzes try to get them back together.
Lucy comes up with a scheme to make Ricky feel sorry for her. She wants to pretend like she was run over by a bus. She puts on a full body cast and bandages her head. Meanwhile, Ricky and Fred eventually come up with a scheme to make Lucy take Ricky back. With the help of a fog machine and a whistle, they make Lucy think that their apartment is on fire. Ricky is in the apartment yelling, making it sound like he’s trying to force his way into the bedroom to save her. Lucy, frantic that the apartment is on fire, and still wearing her full body cast, starts packing. The funniest scene has her wearing a hat on top of her bandaged head, carrying jugs of henna rinse out of the bathroom. Lucy fashions a rope out of bedsheets and jumps out the window–except oops, she forgot to tie the rope to something heavy. Luckily the Mertzes’ awning breaks her fall. Ricky finds Lucy outside and the two make up.
FRED: She said my mother looks like a weasel! LUCY: Ethel, apologize! ETHEL: I’m sorry your mother looks like a weasel.
William Frawley as “Fred,” Lucille Ball as “Lucy,” and Vivian Vance as “Ethel” in I Love Lucy.
The Ricardos and Mertzes watch the washing machine fall over the railing.
#4Never Do Business With Friends
In this episode, Ricky surprises Lucy with a brand-new washing machine. I guess the Handy Dandy washing machine he bought her twenty episodes prior was no longer cutting it. Knowing that the Ricardos have an extra washing machine, it is suggested that the Mertzes buy it. Ricky is against the idea, stating that he does not want to damage their friendship doing business with one another. The Mertzes and Lucy think he’s being silly and assure him that it’ll be fine. However, Ricky’s fears come true when the washing machine breaks before the sale goes through. The Mertzes immediately want to renege on the deal despite having taken possession of the washing machine. This leads to an argument between the two couples.
In one of the funniest scenes of the episode, Ethel tries to push the washing machine in front of the Ricardos’ kitchen door–thereby washing the Mertzes’ hands of it. Lucy sees it and pushes it back in front of the Mertzes’ door. Lucy and Ethel are soon head-to-head trying to push the machine towards each other. Mrs. Trumbull (Elizabeth Patterson) sees them and breaks up the fight. She suggests she has her repairman nephew take a look and see if he can fix it. The next day, Mrs. Trumbull’s nephew looks over the washing machine and offers to pay more money than what the Ricardos were charging the Mertzes.
Now the Mertzes are more than happy to take the machine and the Ricardos are more than happy to take the machine back. The two couples start fighting over the washing machine and end up pushing it through the railing, three stories up. Hopefully nobody was on the sidewalk below. The washing machine presumably explodes into a million pieces–leading Lucy to say the funniest line of the entire episode:
LUCY: Look what happened to your washing machine!
Lucille Ball as “Lucy” in I Love Lucy
Lucy and Ricky try to get the Mertzes’ TV downstairs–while keeping the bow looking nice.
#5 The Courtroom
It’s the Mertzes’ 25th wedding anniversary! The Ricardos have decided that they’ll give the Mertzes the very generous gift of a brand-new television set. Lucy has the television set delivered to her and Ricky’s apartment, despite the Mertzes living one floor down. There’s a hysterical scene of Lucy and Ricky trying to carry the television set downstairs. At one point Ricky has it on his back, shimmying himself down one stair at a time, falling on the next stair with a thud. Lucy is unconcerned with Ricky’s pain and discomfort, she just wants to make sure the bow looks nice.
The Ricardos finally get the television downstairs and joyfully present it to the Mertzes. Their friends are excited, obviously and the couples try out the set. While watching television, it is decided that the picture needs adjusted. Ricky just happens to have tools on him and goes to work fixing it. He and Fred argue over adjusting the television. Ricky’s adjustments go awry however when the tube explodes, breaking the set. In retaliation, Fred runs upstairs and kicks the Ricardos’ screen in–leaving both couples with a broken television set. Negotiations for repairs of each television set fall apart, leading the Ricardos and Mertzes to sue each other.
Ricky, clearly breaking the law, makes Lucy rehearse her “spontaneous” testimony–complete with stage directions that include looking adoringly at Ricky, snarling at the Mertzes, and lifting her skirt a little higher to show some leg. Then the court day arrives and Lucy is called to the stand. Lucy’s “spontaneous” testimony paints Ricky in an angelic light, stating that he’s a “electronics specialist” and makes Fred seem insane. Lucy says “with a fiendish gleam in his eye and flecks of foam on his lips, he went straight to our television set and kicked the glass in.” She then lifts her skirt and shows some leg, which seems to excite the judge a little. Then it’s Ethel’s turn. She gives the same type of testimony, except she claims that Ricky hacked at the Mertzes’ television set with an axe, then forced everyone to go to his and Lucy’s apartment where he picked up Fred’s leg and pushed it through the glass. The funniest part of this scene is when Ethel tries to lift her skirt higher to show a little leg and Fred comes over and pulls it back down, accusing Ethel of trying to lose the case.
Eventually, the judge insists on recreating the incident. He has the bailiff bring out his television set and they recreate the incident. During the re-creation, the judge walks the Mertzes and Ricardos through their respective testimonies until both parties admit that their stories were fake and they’re equally responsible. Ricky also states that the explosion occurred because there were two loose wires on the back of the set, which he attributed to the stairs. He says he put the wires together and the set exploded. The Ricardos and Mertzes agree to pay for each other’s television sets and leave the courtroom. The judge, not convinced of Ricky’s claim that the wires caused the explosion, puts the two wires together and blows out the tube of his television set.
LUCY: Honey! Be careful of the bow! RICKY: Be careful with the bow?!
Lucille Ball as “Lucy” and Desi Arnaz as “Ricky” in I Love Lucy
HONORABLE MENTION: Breaking the Lease. The Ricardos stage a midnight practice with Ricky’s entire band in hopes of convincing the Mertzes to kick them out. Forget about the other tenants.
Horse racing was a big past time in the United States from the late-19th century until about the 1950s-1960s when it began to lose popularity; but is still popular in some areas of the country. Many classic films are centered around illegal bookmaking operations (Miss Grant Takes Richmond, 1949) or have horse racing featured as a pivotal part of the plot (The Killing, 1956). Celebrities such as Desi Arnaz, Betty Grable, Harry James, Fred Astaire, Barbara Stanwyck, Mickey Rooney, and Gregory Peck could be seen sitting in the grandstands at racetracks in Del Mar and Santa Ana. Desi and Betty were such fixtures at the Del Mar track that both have races named after them. The Desi Arnaz Stakes and Betty Grable Stakes races are still held to this day.
Lucy and Ethel walk into an unwanted visitor in the den.
Starting right after I Love Lucy’s series finale in 1957, The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour was a series of specials that Desilu produced between 1957-1960. Each of the thirteen episodes features one or more celebrity guest star. In the episode, the celebrity would get mixed up with Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) in one of her outlandish schemes. The episodes used Ricky Ricardo’s (Desi Arnaz) celebrity and ownership of the Club Babalu (formerly The Tropicana) as an explanation as to how these celebrities come in contact with the Ricardos and Mertzes.
Betty’s love of horse racing and the horses themselves is how she becomes involved in one of Lucy Ricardo’s schemes in the fourth Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour special, “Lucy Wins a Racehorse.” In the episode, Betty and Harry are booked to perform at the Club Babalu. At the beginning of the episode, Lucy is begging Ricky for a horse. Stating that Little Ricky has been wishing for a horse for a long time. Being the logical part of the marriage, Ricky is against owning a horse due to the high cost involved. However, because it’s Lucy, she won’t take “no” for an answer. Lucy has already submitted dozens of entries (using the names of everyone she knows) for the “Korny Krinkles” cereal box-top contest. As an aside, I swear that I’ve seen these same boxes of cereal in multiple shows, but with different names. In another Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, “Lucy Wants a Career,” Lucy gets a job as a Girl Friday promoting “Wakey Flakies” and the same boxes are shown with a different name. There’s also an episode of The Brady Bunch where Peter sells Sunflower Girl Cookies and the boxes look identical). But back to Lucy. The Korny Krinkles top prize is a racehorse.
RICKY: “Fred, do you see a horse on the stairs?” FRED: “I don’t see anything.” ETHEL: “What horse?!” LUCY: “What stairs?”
Lucy, rather Fred Mertz (William Frawley), wins the racehorse. Ricky is now out of the house, having left to go pick Betty Grable and Harry James up from the airport. The horse, “Whirling Jet,” has developed quite the attachment to Lucy. As she and Ethel (Vivian Vance) discuss how to break the news about the horse to Ricky, they walk into the Ricardos’ den to find Whirling Jet inside. Right at that time, they hear Ricky driving up and have to scramble to figure out how to hide the horse. Ricky walks in and hears a horse neighing from inside the den. Lucy successfully convinces him that he’s working too hard and is just hearing things. Ricky leaves to take a walk. Just as Lucy and Ethel are trying to walk Whirling Jet up the stairs, Ricky comes back. Betty and Harry enter quickly afterwards and have to wonder what they’ve gotten themselves into.
ETHEL (motioning toward her legs): “What’s the matter with these?” FRED: “Nothing, only you’ve got them on upside down.”
Vivian Vance (Ethel Mertz) and William Frawley (Fred Mertz)
Ricky has invited Betty and Harry to his home to rehearse one of the numbers, “The Bayamo,” that they’re set to perform at Club Babalu. Fred takes a front seat to get a load of “those gorgeous Grable gams.” Ricky and Betty run through the number and Harry has his trumpet solo. While “The Bayamo” isn’t the most energetic number, it is entertaining. Since they are in rehearsal, maybe it was more exciting when being performed at the club. Incidentally, Desi Arnaz and Betty Grable dated in 1939, before he met Lucy. Desi was on Broadway, performing in “Too Many Girls.”
Harry James and Betty Grable walk into chaos in the Ricardo living room.
Almost immediately, Lucy goes to work getting horse lover Betty to help her figure out how to keep Whirling Jet. She suggests entering the horse in a race, saying that if he wins, the purse would be big enough to take care of Whirling Jet for his entire life. However, Harry points out that they would need to pay a considerable sum of money upfront just to get into the race–a race that Whirling Jet isn’t guaranteed to win. Ricky immediately sides with Harry and shoots down Betty’s suggestion. Still not taking “no” for an answer, Lucy motions Betty into the kitchen to get more details about her idea. Betty agrees to go along with it because she’s never too busy to pull one over on a couple of husbands.
LUCY: “Listen, there’s something I want to know, Ethel.” BETTY: “Ethel?!” LUCY: “Oh I’m sorry, I usually cook up my schemes with Ethel.”
Lucille Ball (Lucy Ricardo) and Betty Grable (as herself).
BETTY: “Oh by the way, Lucy and I have a little scheme and we need your help with it, Freddy boy.” FRED: “Anything you say, Betsy girl.” BETTY: “We thought we’d enter Whirling Jet in a trotting race and not tell that mean old Harry and Ricky about it.” FRED: “No kiddin’.” BETTY: “And since you’re the legal owner of the horse, we’re going to need your permission.” FRED: “Well you have it, my dear.” BETTY: “Oh you’re a real sweetheart” [Betty kisses Fred’s cheek]… oh and one more thing, Lucy and I are a little short on the amount we need to enter the horse, so could you chip in with a little old measly, $200?Hmmmm? [Fred counts out $200 in cash] FRED: “Are you sure that’s enough?…And remember if you need anymore, just call on ‘Fred-sie boy.’
Betty Grable (as herself) and William Frawley (Fred Mertz)
Betty charms tightwad Fred Mertz out of $200
Betty states that they’ll need to put up at least $300 to cover costs such as entry fee, food, trailer to transport the horse, and trainer. Betty puts up $100, leaving $200 as the amount needed. In a very funny scene, Betty uses Fred’s admiration of her and her legs to coax him into lending her $200. Lucy nearly faints witnessing Fred so eagerly offer Betty a good portion of the bank roll in his pocket. With the needed money in hand, Lucy brings Whirling Jet down to the Roosevelt Raceway in Long Island for training. After the trainer has been working with Whirling Jet for a few days, Lucy visits the track where she is informed by the trainer that her race horse is hopeless for winning the big race.
LUCY: “Betty, you’re just what I’ve been looking for–an Ethel Mertz with money!”
Lucille Ball as Lucy Ricardo.
The trainer then notices the change in Whirling Jet’s attentiveness and sees how he’s taken to Lucy. It is suggested that she take the reins and race him in the big race. After some training and a fake mustache (to hide from Ricky, obviously), Lucy is in the race! Eagle-eye viewers will notice that one of the jockeys is Sid Melton, best known as one of the Monroe Brothers in Green Acres (1965-1970) and as Sophia’s deceased husband, Sal, in The Golden Girls (1985-1992). One of the other jockeys in the episode plays the shocked driver whom Lucy and Desi pass on the narrow road in my favorite movie, The Long Long Trailer (1954).
This episode is ridiculous but is one of the better Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour episodes. It makes excellent use of its guest stars, showcasing both their talents for dancing and music as well as comedic talents. Betty Grable basically becomes Lucy’s Ethel Mertz in this episode as she is the one who not only comes up with the scheme, but is fully complicit in its execution.
Allen Jenkins has one of those mugs and voices that is instantly recognizable the second he’s on screen and opens his mouth. He’s never the lead, or even the major second lead, but he’s always there to provide ample support. My first introduction to Allen Jenkins was in his numerous appearances on I Love Lucy, often as a police officer. His most memorable appearance was in a late second season episode, “Ricky and Fred Are TV Fans.” In this episode, Lucy and Ethel are upset about becoming boxing widows when Ricky and Fred settle in for the evening to watch “the big fight.” It is established that Ricky and Fred have spent a lot of evenings watching boxing on television and their wives are fed up with being ignored night after night. Lucy and Ethel decide to go down to the corner drug store and call Ricky on the phone. Lucy will disguise herself as one of her friends and ask Ricky to call Lucy to the phone, which should clue him in that Lucy and Ethel are gone. The plan doesn’t work however, as Ricky just answers the phone, calls Lucy to the phone, sets the receiver down, then returns to watching the fight. The entire crowd in the drug store is caught up in the fight, including Officer Jenkins (Allen Jenkins). Lucy unable to get the drugstore clerk’s attention (because he’s watching the fight on television), decides to make change for herself. The bell on the cash register gets Officer Jenkins’ attention and he accuses Lucy of trying to rob the drug store. Lucy and Ethel get away.
Officer Jenkins (Allen Jenkins) hauls in “Sticky Fingers Sal,” aka Lucy and “Pick Pocket Pearl” aka Ethel and presents them to his boss, Officer Nelson (Frank Nelson) in I Love Lucy, “Ricky and Fred Are TV Fans.”
Later, Lucy and Ethel return to the Ricardos’ apartment only to see the phone still off the hook and Ricky and Fred still watching the fight–they didn’t even notice the women’s disappearance. Insulted, Lucy decides to climb up onto the roof to cut the electricity to the Ricardos’ apartment. It seems a little drastic, and she has no fear about being electrocuted, but that’s how Lucy works, she doesn’t screw around. Anyway, while Lucy and Ethel discuss which cord is running to the Ricardos’ apartment, Officer Jenkins finds them and brings them down to the precinct. Now at the police station, Officer Jenkins tells his superior, Officer Nelson (Frank Nelson), that he’s finally tracked down the infamous female robbers, “Pickpocket Pearl” and “Sticky Fingers Sal.” The women are identified based on their hair color. ‘Pearl’ is a blonde and ‘Sticky Fingers’ is a brunette, who must have dyed her hair red, deduces Officer Nelson.
LUCY: Dyed your hair. A lot you know. My hair is naturally red. Isn’t it Ethel? ETHEL: Look Lucy, let’s not add perjury to our other charges. LUCY: Well I might have expected something like that from you. Pick. Pocket. Pearl.
Lucille Ball as “Lucy Ricardo” and Vivian Vance as “Ethel Mertz” in “Ricky and Fred Are TV Fans” in I Love Lucy. Originally aired June 22, 1953.
Allen Jenkins went all the way back to 1939 with Lucille Ball when he appeared with her in the RKO film, Five Came Back. In the film, nine passengers board a flight from Los Angeles to Panama City. During the flight, the plane flies directly into an intense nighttime storm, which ends with the plane crashing into a rainforest. The passengers and crew survive. Eventually the plane is repaired, but can now only support the weight of five passengers. The passengers and crew must decide which five people will get to return home. Lucy plays Peggy Nolan, a woman with a shady past and Allen plays Pete, a gunman who is tasked with escorting the son of a gangster back home.
Lucille Ball and Allen Jenkins in 1939’s Five Came Back
Eight years prior to Five Came Back, Allen had made his film debut in the 1931 short film, Straight and Narrow playing what else? An ex-convict. Allen played many unsavory characters throughout his career. He also appeared in many memorable pre-code films such as: Three on a Match (1932), Employees’ Entrance (1933), 42nd Street (1933), Blondie Johnson (1933), and Jimmy the Gent (1934). During the production code era, he played opposite big Warner Brothers stars like Errol Flynn (The Perfect Specimen (1937), Footsteps in the Dark (1941), and Dive Bomber (1941)) and Humphrey Bogart (Marked Woman (1938), Dead End (1937), and The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse (1938) ).
Jenkins was born on April 9, 1900 in Staten Island, New York. Despite often being cast as the dimwitted thug or comic relief, Jenkins actually had a long pedigree when it came to show business training. His family earned their living in show business and he later trained at the reputable American Academy of Dramatic Arts. In the 1920s, Jenkins was working steadily on Broadway, even replacing Spencer Tracy in the play, “The Last Mile.” Jenkins’ turn in Tracy’s role is what led to Darryl F. Zanuck discovering him and bringing him out to Hollywood to work for Paramount Pictures. His first major role was reprising his Broadway role of “Frankie Wells” in the 1932 film adaptation of Blessed Event, starring Lee Tracy. This role led to Jenkins receiving steady work, often in gangster films throughout the 1930s and 1940s.
Allen Jenkins played Errol Flynn’s chauffer and cohort in Footsteps in the Dark (1941).
In Ball of Fire, Jenkins has a memorable role as the garbage man who rattles off one slang word after another, much to the bewilderment of the professors who are trying to write a comprehensive encyclopedia on American slang. He would later reprise his role in the film’s 1948 remake, A Song is Born.
GARBAGE MAN: I could use a bundle of scratch right now on account of I met me a mouse last week. PROFESSOR ODDLY: Mouse? GARBAGE MAN: What a pair of gams. A little in, a little out, and a little more out. PROFESSOR BERTRAM POTTS: I am still completely mystified. GARBAGE MAN: Well, with this dish on me hands and them giving away 25 smackaroos on that quizzola. PROFESSOR BERTRAM POTTS: Smackaroos? PROFESSOR ODDLY: Smackaroos? What are smackaroos? GARBAGE MAN: A smackaroo is a… PROFESSOR BERTRAM POTTS: No such word exists. GARBAGE MAN: Oh, it don’t, huh? A smackaroo is a dollar, pal. PROFESSOR BERTRAM POTTS: Well, the accepted vulgarism for a dollar is a buck. GARBAGE MAN: The accepted vulgarism for a smackaroo is a dollar. That goes for a banger, a fish, a buck, or a rug. PROFESSOR BERTRAM POTTS: Well, what about the mouse? GARBAGE MAN: The mouse is a dish. That’s what I need the moolah for. PROFESSOR ODDLY: Moolah? GARBAGE MAN: Yeah. The dough. We’ll be stepping. Me and the smooch, I mean the dish. I mean the mouse. You know, hit the jiggles for a little drum boogie.
Allen Jenkins as “Garbage Man,” Richard Hadyn as “Professor Oddly” and Gary Cooper as “Professor Bertram Potts” in “Ball of Fire” (1941).
Pictured from left: Frank McHugh and Allen Jenkins. Jenkins was part of the “Irish Mafia” with James Cagney, Pat O’Brien, and McHugh.
One of Jenkins’ last film roles was as the elevator operator who takes pity on the perpetually hungover Thelma Ritter in Pillow Talk (1959). Later, he moved to television, where he often played cops, or characters in blue-collared jobs. Aside from I Love Lucy, Jenkins also appeared in Adam 12, Bewitched, Batman, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. He also made frequent appearances on Red Skelton’s show, The Red Skelton Hour, and also had a role in the 1950s sitcom, Hey Jeannie! (1956-1957). He is also remembered for voicing Officer Dribble on the cartoon series, Top Cat (1961-1962).
Allen Jenkins passed away on July 20, 1974 from lung cancer at the age of 74.
HUNK: Maybe I’m wrong. We all make mistakes, boss. That’s why they put the rubber on the ends of pencils.
Allen Jenkins as “Hunk” to Humphrey Bogart in Dead End, 1937.
I ‘m coming in hot with a last minute entry for Classic Film and TV Corner’s “Discovering Classic Cinema Blogathon.” I actually saw this blogathon announced awhile back and forgot to enter it. Oops. This is also my first opportunity to type something substantial using my new laptop that my husband got me for Christmas! Woohoo. My introduction to classic film didn’t come via the usual routes. I’m not old enough to have seen any of these movies in the theater during their original run. The first movie I saw in the theater was Disney’s The Little Mermaid at the age of 5 in 1989. Apparently I saw a re-release of The Aristocats in 1987 when I was 3, but according to my mom it did not go well and I did not see the whole movie. Lol. I traumatized my parents enough that it was 2 years before I went back. Having grown up in Salem, OR during the mid-to-late 80s through the early 00s, there wasn’t really any opportunity to see the classics in repertory theaters, as Salem doesn’t have any. While I did watch the annual TV viewings of The Wizard of Oz, and had secretly seen Psycho and The Birds despite my mom not wanting my sister and I to see them (my dad rented them while she was out of town), these did not ignite my love of classic cinema.
I miss 90s Nick at Nite!
One evening in 1994, 10-year old me was flipping channels and came across Nickelodeon’s evening programming, something called “Nick-at-Nite.” For the record, 90s Nick-at-Nite was one of the greatest things ever and I really wish it would come back, but I digress. Anyway, I was instantly sucked in by the colorful graphics, catchy jingles and fun animation that once graced the evening Nickelodeon block. A voiceover came on screen and announced that a show called I Love Lucy was coming up on the schedule. I honestly do not recall if I’d ever seen or heard of I Love Lucy prior to this moment, but I do know that it was not something I watched regularly. The now-familiar I Love Lucy theme song started, the hearts on satin appeared with the cast’s names: Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, and William Frawley. I still remember the first episode I saw, “L.A. at Last!” with William Holden guest starring. At that moment, I had no idea who the cast members were, let alone William Holden.
I was instantly transfixed by Lucy’s antics. In “L.A. at Last!,” Lucy decides that she and the Mertzes need to find the “celebrity watering hole,” where the stars all gather at the same place, thus saving Lucy time in having to track them down one-by-one. Bobby the Bellboy suggests that the group visit Hollywood’s famed Brown Derby restaurant–a well known hotspot for celebrities. As an aside, I will forever be sad that I cannot go to the Brown Derby, nor can I go to 99% of the famous Hollywood nightclubs of the 30s-50s. No Ciro’s or The Mocambo for me. Anyway, while at the Brown Derby, Lucy, Ethel and Fred are spotting celebrities left and right. We hear multiple celebrities paged to the telephone: Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, Walter Pidgeon, Ava Gardner. Lucy and the Mertzes see each and every one of them (offscreen) get up for the phone. Ethel also manages to offend Eve Arden in the neighboring booth by asking her to identify a caricature of herself as either Judy Holliday or Shelley Winters. Lucy for her part, is in awe of Ethel. “You touched her!” Lucy says, much to Ethel’s dismay at her faux pas.
The greatest day of Nick at Nite’s annual Block Party Summer.
Then, big star William Holden sits down in the booth next to Lucy and the Mertzes. Ethel is immediately starstruck and gets Lucy’s attention. Lucy catches a glimpse of Holden in the booth and is swooning. Being the creeper that she is, Lucy can’t stop staring at Holden, making him very uncomfortable in the process. Lucy’s encounter with Holden at the Brown Derby culminates with her tripping the waiter and causing him to dump a cream pie all over Holden’s head. Later, Holden meets Ricky at MGM and offers to give him a ride home to his Beverly Palms Hotel suite. When Ricky tells Lucy he’s brought a big star home with him, Lucy is overjoyed, until Ricky reveals the big star’s identity. Frantic, Lucy puts on a ridiculous disguise which includes large black cat eye glasses, a scarf to hide her hair, and a big putty nose. The scene that follows is hands down the funniest moment of the entire series (in my opinion). The look on William Holden and Desi Arnaz’ faces when Lucy turns around after “fixing” her putty nose is hysterical. How lucky was I to have this be the first episode of I Love Lucy that I ever saw?
I was hooked on I Love Lucy from then on, watching it at 8:00pm every night–except on Saturdays, I Love Lucy started at 10:00pm. On “Whole Lotta Lucy” Saturdays, Nick-at-Nite showed two episodes of I Love Lucy, followed by an episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour. Every episode of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour featured a different guest star. With the exception of Fred MacMurray, I didn’t know who any of the guest stars were. I also knewvery few of the I Love Lucy guest stars, with the exception of John Wayne, Orson Welles, and Bob Hope. As a kid, I always figured that these were people who “were famous at the time.” Lol.
The look on William Holden’s face when Lucy turns around after “fixing” her nose is the funniest scene in the entire series.
Anyway, my family and I were also avid library goers, spending approximately one Sunday afternoon a month perusing the stacks. Now fully obsessed with I Love Lucy and Lucille Ball, I checked out each and every book about her in the library. I read multiple biographies about her, Desi, Vivian Vance, and anything I Love Lucy-adjacent. From these books, I learned that Lucille Ball had a fairly extensive film career and discovered that my library had a large selection of “The Lucille Ball Signature Collection” VHS movies. I watched each and every one. At the same time, my parents’ cable package had just acquired a new channel, the recently launched TCM. Every Sunday, I would find the new TV guide supplement in the newspaper and comb through it, looking to see if any Lucille Ball films or documentaries were scheduled that week. I’d always check PBS, A&E’s Biography program, TCM and AMC (when it showed old films).
From Lucille Ball’s film career, I was introduced to a myriad of different stars who quickly became favorites of mine. Through Lucy’s film, DuBarry Was a Lady, I learned about Gene Kelly. Because of my interest in Gene, I watched Singin’ in the Rain and The Pirate. ‘Rain’ introduced me to Debbie Reynolds and ‘Pirate’ introduced me to Judy Garland, who I was aware of through The Wizard of Oz, but hadn’t seen her in anything else prior. Through Judy, I learned about Fred Astaire (Easter Parade), which led me to Ginger Rogers. Rogers I’d seen before as she’d appeared with Lucy and Katharine Hepburn in Stage Door, which I’d borrowed from the library. From Stage Door, I recognized Eve Arden from the episode of I Love Lucy I’d seen. I continued on this path of constant discoveries and am still on the path somewhat, except that I’m more familiar with all the actors and know that the ones who appeared as guest stars on I Love Lucy weren’t just people who were famous at the time of I Love Lucy’s production era.
Cornel Wilde is no longer known as “Cornel Wilde is in the penthouse!” (I Love Lucy, “The Star Upstairs”). He’s a co-star in the excellent Leave Her to Heaven with Gene Tierney and he’s great in The Big Combo, his film being promoted on his episode of I Love Lucy. Charles Boyer isn’t just “LUCY! I love you, rawrrrrr” ((I Love Lucy, “Lucy Meets Charles Boyer”). He’s Ingrid Bergman’s terrifying husband in Gaslight, or the man who woos Olivia de Havilland in Hold Back the Dawn. Boyer is the man who arranges to meet Irene Dunne at the top of the Empire State Building in Love Affair. Unbelievably, I also didn’t know anything that William Holden did aside from being hilarious in I Love Lucy. I finally saw him in Sunset Boulevard and was blown away. After having seen him in so many films now, I can definitely say that Holden was a bona fide superstar.
CORNEL WILDE IS IN THE PENTHOUSE! CORNEL WILDE!
From reading all the library books about Lucille Ball and her film career, I learned that she made it a point to hire her friends from the movies when she had an opportunity to do so. The film friend of hers who benefitted the most from this is of course, William Frawley, who is now a legend in his own right for playing the irascible Fred Mertz on I Love Lucy. Having seen a good amount of classic films now, Frawley is everywhere. He plays Errol Flynn’s boxing promoter, Billy Delaney, in Gentleman Jim. He also plays a cop in Flynn’s Footsteps in the Dark, and Deanna Durbin’s Lady on a Train. He is also in the perennial Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street. Frawley had called up Lucy’s husband and Desilu Production president, Desi Arnaz, and asked for the job of Fred Mertz. CBS was hesitant to take a risk on the alcoholic Frawley, but Lucy and Desi prevailed and Frawley is now a television legend.
I find myself pointing out I Love Lucy characters in various classic films. Elizabeth Patterson who played Mrs. Trumbull is everywhere in classic film. She makes a memorable appearance as Fred MacMurray’s Aunt Emma in Remember the Night. Charles Lane is another character who pops up everywhere He appears as Lucy’s typing instructor in Miss Grant Takes Richmond (also co-starring William Holden). He also appears in uncredited roles in a million excellent pre-code films such as: Blonde Crazy, Employees’ Entrance, 42nd Street, Golddiggers of 1933, She Had to Say Yes, and Blondie Johnson. He made multiple appearances in I Love Lucy: the expectant father (I always say “nine girls” when I see him in a movie), the passport office clerk, the man conducting auditions in the episode where Lucy has to tell the truth for 24 hours, and he plays the Ricardos business manager, Mr. Hickox. Allen Jenkins, has a memorable role in an episode of I Love Lucy playing a police officer who apprehends “Sticky Fingers Sal” and “Pickpocket Pearl” (Lucy and Ethel). Jenkins was almost a mainstay in Warner Brothers films, playing the sidekick to the male lead. He’s in Dive Bomber, Footsteps in the Dark, The Perfect Specimen, all with Errol Flynn. He also supports Humphrey Bogart in Dead End, Racket Busters, and the horribly named The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse. I even spotted Mr. Martinelli, owner of the pizza restaurant where Lucy works for one episode, as the villain in Marked Woman with Bogart and Bette Davis!
To this day, I Love Lucy and Lucille Ball are still my favorites. I also love Classic Film and I just love how well my favorite television show and my favorite era of filmmaking are so closely intertwined.
This single photo still from Stage Door captures my intertwined love of classic film and I Love Lucy. Lucille Ball, center, is flanked by Katharine Hepburn on the left and Ginger Rogers on the right.
Picture it: Salem, Oregon, 1995. A beautiful peasant girl turns on her parents’ 15″ black and white tube TV. She comes across a show on something called Nick at Nite. She is instantly transfixed by the action on the screen. A redhead (we’ll have to take the characters’ word for it, it’s black and white after all), her Cuban bandleader husband, and their two friends were involved in some wacky scheme. The next day, the girl tuned into Nick-at-Nite again and watched another episode of this hilarious show about a woman whose only dream in life, it seems, is to be in show business, much to her husband’s chagrin. The show was I Love Lucy, and the beautiful peasant girl, was me, minus the peasant part–just tapping into my inner Sophia Petrillo.
I Love Lucy is rightfully considered one of the best, if not the best (which “best” is obviously subjective) television show in history. The show was groundbreaking, almost literally, and created the blueprint for all situational comedies to come. Every show, from The Dick Van Dyke Show, to The Mary Tyler Moore Show, to Cheers to Friends are indebted to I Love Lucy for inventing the situation comedy and engineering the way in which to perform in front of a live audience.
In 1950, CBS approached Lucille Ball with an offer to move her popular radio show, My Favorite Husband, to the new burgeoning medium of television. CBS wanted Ball, her co-star Richard Denning and the other cast members to make the move with her. However, Ball had other ideas. At this time, Ball had been married to her husband, bandleader Desi Arnaz for ten years. The couple’s marriage was faltering. Much of the strain on their marriage was caused by their differing schedules. Ball was in Hollywood filming her radio show and Arnaz was on the road, touring with his band. Ball, seeing an opportunity to work with her husband and keep him home, told CBS that she was interested in the offer, but only if Arnaz could star as her husband. CBS balked, thinking that the American public would not accept that their star, Lucille Ball, was married to a Cuban. Of course, CBS was completely wrong, but to prove it, Ball and Arnaz concocted a vaudeville routine and took their act on the road. People across the country loved them and soon CBS had to relent and give Ball and Arnaz the go-ahead.
In March of 1951, Ball and Arnaz filmed their pilot. It was filmed in kineoscope. Kineoscope was a method of filming a live performance. A camera lens would be focused on a video screen, which would record the performance as it was being recorded. This footage would later be re-broadcast to other markets. Typically shows were filmed in New York, as this is where a majority of the population lived in the late 1940s-early 1950s. If you have ever seen a YouTube video where someone has made a video of a movie, show, concert, etc. playing on their TV, you know that the sound is muffled and tinny and the picture is blurry. This is exactly what it was like to watch a kineoscope show if you didn’t live near New York.
To see a couple examples of Kineoscope, go to You Tube and search for: “I Love Lucy Pilot,” and “Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz on The Ed Wynn Show.”
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz on the “I Love Lucy” Pilot
Above is a screenshot from the I Love Lucy pilot episode. Ball wears a housecoat and big baggy pants for much of the episode because she was pregnant with Lucie Arnaz. The Ricardos live in a completely different apartment and the Mertzes haven’t been created yet. I Love Lucy episode #6, “The Audition” is essentially a re-do of the pilot. In the pilot episode, Ricky schemes with his agent, Jerry. In the I Love Lucy episode, Jerry’s lines are given to Fred Mertz. The pilot episode was a success and Ball and Arnaz were given the green light to start their series.
To produce their series, Ball and Arnaz formed Desilu Productions. Arnaz was president and Ball was vice-president. They hired the writers from Ball’s radio show, My Favorite Husband. Many of the crew members they hired were acquaintances from Ball’s radio program and from Ball and Arnaz’ movie and music careers, respectively. For the Mertzes, they originally wanted Bea Benederet (Betty Rubble in The Flintstones and Kate Bradley in Petticoat Junction) and Gale Gordon (Mr. Mooney in The Lucy Show and Harry Carter in Here’s Lucy). However, Benederet was under contract to The Burns and Allen Show and Gordon was on Our Miss Brooks.
William Frawley and Vivian Vance as Fred and Ethel Mertz
One day, William Frawley, an old acquaintance of Ball’s from her movie days, called Ball and asked if there was room for him on her show. Leery of his reputation as a hard-drinker, Arnaz and Ball met with him and decided he was perfect. Ball later said: “William Frawley was ‘Fred Mertz,’ period.” Frawley was cast on the condition that he always show up to work sober. He would be fired on the spot if he ever showed up to work intoxicated. During all six seasons of I Love Lucy and the three seasons of The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, Frawley kept his promise.
Casting Ethel Mertz turned out to be more of a chore. Ball originally wanted to throw the job to her old friend, Barbara Pepper (Mrs. Ziffel on Green Acres), but CBS said no. Much like Frawley, Pepper had a drinking problem too, but hers was much more severe. Then I Love Lucy director Marc Daniels (who directed the first season) suggested an actress he worked with in New York, Vivian Vance. Vance had a successful Broadway career and had spent twenty years on stage acting in various plays until re-locating to Hollywood in the late-1940s. She appeared in a couple films, but by 1951, she was still relatively unknown outside of the Broadway circle. She just happened to be appearing in a revival of Voice of a Turtle in La Jolla, California. Arnaz and head writer, Jess Oppenheimer, drove down to see Vance and hired her on the spot. Vance was reluctant to give up her stage career for the unknown medium of television, but friend Daniels convinced her it’d be her big break–and it was.
With all the pieces put in place, it was time to start producing I Love Lucy. Desilu purchased two soundstages and tore down the dividing wall to create one large room that could hold four separate stages. The Ricardos’ living room was the larger, permanent stage. The Ricardos’ bedroom was typically in the smaller stage to the left and the kitchen was the small stage to the right. The other stage would often be the Tropicana. The walls of the small stages had wheels that allowed them to move around. Oftentimes, when a scene with a large amount of action was filmed, the walls of the set would be rolled in front of the Ricardos’ living room set. Case in point, there is a blooper in the famous Vitameatavegamin episode (#30 “Lucy Does a TV Commercial”). When Lucy comes staggering out of her dressing room (plastered on Vitameatavegamin, alcohol 23%) and the stage hands are searching for Ricky, you can see the Ricardos’ living room between the Vitameatavegamin set and Ricky’s set where he performs.
CBS wanted Arnaz and Ball to use the cheaper kineoscope and to film their show in New York. Arnaz and Ball informed CBS that not only did they plan on remaining in Los Angeles, but they also wanted to film their program on 35mm film, the same film used by the motion picture studios. They wanted the whole country to see their program clearly, not just the East Coast and they wanted to have copies of their program–figuring that if it bombed, at least they’d come away with some “home movies” for their children. CBS complained initially about the increased cost of the film, but Arnaz, the shrewd negotiator he was, offered to deduct $1000/week from his and Lucy’s salaries in exchange for the right to use film and the rights to their show. CBS, figuring that this whole thing will never work, agreed.
The “I Love Lucy” set. This is an early season 1-2 episode based on the floral love seat in the living room.
Arnaz knew that Ball performed best in front of a live audience. To accommodate a live audience, Arnaz had to equip his soundstage with bleachers. He was also required by the fire marshall to bring the building up to code by adding bathrooms and other modifications required of a facility that is going to hold large groups of people. In order to ensure that the cameras didn’t block the audience’s view of the action, Arnaz, along with Academy Award winning cinematographer, Karl Freund, devised the three camera technique. This camera, nicknamed “the three-headed monster,” would film the action from three angles. Then after production, the editors would splice together the footage to create the final show. This technique is still in use today.
The very first episode of I Love Lucy, that aired, was actually the second episode filmed. Episode #2, “The Girls Want to Go to a Nightclub” is the first of many “versus” episodes. In this case, it’s the men versus the women. Lucy and Ethel want to go to a nightclub for the Mertzes’ anniversary and Fred and Ricky want to go to the fights. Lucy and Ethel declare that they will find their own dates who will take them to the club. Ricky informs Lucy that he and Fred will do the same. Enlisting the help of an old friend, Lucy gets herself and Ethel set up as Ricky and Fred’s blind dates. Except, the girls aren’t just coming as themselves, they show up dressed as hillbillies. This is the first of many episodes where Lucy tries to pull a fast one on Ricky. Arnaz made it clear to the writers from day one that while Lucy can play tricks on Ricky, he didn’t want Ricky to look like an idiot. Ricky either needed to be in on the joke from the beginning or figure it out before Lucy succeeded. In the case of this episode, Lucy blows her cover by offering to go grab cigarettes for everyone, stating that she knew where they were. Ricky tells Lucy he knows it’s her and Ethel, they make up and all is well–except that the men end up at the fights with the ladies dressed to the nines. Let’s just hope that a compromise was reached and maybe they went to the fights and the nightclub that evening.
“Lucy Goes to the Hospital”
I Love Lucy was a success and was at the top of the ratings 4/6 years it was on television. In 1953, Ball found out she was pregnant (with Desi Arnaz Jr.) and she, along with Arnaz, thought it was the end of the program. However, it was decided that Lucy Ricardo would be pregnant too. Desilu hired a priest, rabbi and minister to read the scripts and highlight any objectionable content. All three religious leaders could not find any issues. CBS allowed Ball and Arnaz to go ahead with their plan and Lucy Ricardo was set to have a baby. The only stipulation being that the word “pregnant” could not be used on the show. They had to opt for the funnier ‘spectin coming from Ricky. Words and phrases like “infanticipating” and “having a baby” were used instead. The episode where Lucy gives birth to Little Ricky was the highest rated episode of any television show (at that point) and even got a higher rating than Dwight Eisenhower’s inauguration that took place the following day after Little Ricky was born. During this time, Arnaz invented the re-run by re-airing old episodes of I Love Lucy. He wanted to give Lucy time to recover. To make the episodes “fresh,” he and Frawley and Vance filmed new flashback scenes to introduce the episodes. When these repeats garnered the same or higher ratings than the original airing, it was decided to forgo the new flashback footage and just re-air the episodes as-is.
I Love Lucy enjoyed huge success during its original six year run, winning multiple Emmy Awards and achieving high ratings. It ended its run #1 in the ratings. However, I Love Lucy has achieved even greater success in the decades since. It is estimated that I Love Lucy has never been off the air since its debut in 1951. Ball’s face is one of the most widely recognized faces in the world. There are new generations of fans discovering I Love Lucy each and every day. It is truly an indelible part of pop culture and television history.
My Top 5 Favorite Episodes of I Love Lucy:
1) Episode #114, “L.A. at Last!”
The Ricardos and Mertzes finally make it to Hollywood. After checking into their hotel at the Beverly Palms Hotel, Lucy and the Mertzes are on the prowl for movie stars. They decide to go to “the watering hole,” aka The Brown Derby for lunch and celebrity spotting. Ethel manages to embarrass herself in front of Eve Arden and Lucy ends up embarrassing herself in front of William Holden. The true gem of this episode is later, when Ricky, newly employed at MGM, meets Holden. Holden offers to give him a ride to his hotel. Ricky, unknowing about what transpired at the Brown Derby earlier that day, asks Holden if he’d mind coming in to meet Lucy. Lucy, understandably freaked out, but forced into meeting Holden, tries to disguise herself with a scarf, glasses and fake putty nose. The funniest part of the entire episode is the look on William Holden and Desi Arnaz’ faces when Lucy turns around after having re-shaped her nose.
2) Episode #147, “Lucy Gets a Paris Gown”
In Paris, Lucy makes it known to Ricky that she wants a Jacques Marcell dress. Ricky, not wanting to pay the huge price tag, says no. Lucy, not willing to give up, stages a convincing hunger strike in protest of Ricky’s decision. Ricky, feeling bad for Lucy, buys her the dress, but then discovers that Ethel has been sneaking food to her. The dress is returned and Lucy is fuming. To appease Lucy and “cure” her of her desire for high-end French fashion (which Ricky and Fred think is ridiculous), they find some potato sacks, a horse’s feedbag and a champagne bucket and have two Parisian original gowns designed and created: one for Lucy and one for Ethel. The funniest part of this episode is when Lucy and Ethel realize that they’ve been duped and attempt to hide under a tablecloth, that they apparently steal from the restaurant as they run away.
3) Episode #81, “The Charm School”
After an upsetting party where Lucy and Ethel feel ignored by their husbands, especially when the date of another guest attracts all their attention, Lucy and Ethel decide that their husbands are bored with them. Lucy finds out that the woman who came to her party the night prior had just finished a course at “Phoebe Emerson’s Charm School.” Lucy and Ethel sign up and are put through a charm regiment that involves learning to walk, speak and dress like a charming lady. The time comes for the big reveal and Ricky and Fred are speechless. The funniest part of this episode is when Lucy opens the door to let glammed-up Ethel in. As she opens the door, there’s Ethel leaning against the door frame, dressed in a one-strapped, skintight, leopard print dress with a cool snake-like thing around her arm.
4) Episode #23, “Fred and Ethel Fight”
The Mertzes are fighting (because Ethel said that Fred’s mother “looked like a weasel,” to which I say: “Fred’s mother is still alive?”) and Lucy decides to invite each one over for dinner without the other one knowing. She lets Ricky in on the plan. Ricky works with Lucy trying to get Fred and Ethel back together, but during course of conversation, he and Lucy end up getting in a fight. Now it’s Ethel and Fred’s turn to try and get Ricky and Lucy back together! The climax of the episode is when Ricky stages a fake fire in the apartment, so that he can “save” Lucy and be a hero. The funniest part of this episode is when Lucy wants to pretend like she was hit by a bus and has Ethel help her put on casts and a metal arm brace thing and then Ricky stages the fake fire which Lucy doesn’t know is fake. Lucy freaks out trying to grab things, casually tossing them out her 4th story window. She grabs some dresses and her huge jug of henna rinse. Then she makes a rope with a bedsheet and ties it around herself, but neglects to tie the other end to anything.
5) Episode #122 “The Star Upstairs”
Lucy discovers that she has met 99 movie stars and wants to meet one more so she can have an even hundred. She reads a blind item in the paper that a big star is staying in the penthouse of a local hotel for some rest and relaxation. Lucy instantly jumps to the conclusion that the star is in her hotel, and after pressing the bellboy for details, her assumption is confirmed–Cornel Wilde is staying in the penthouse right above the Ricardos’ hotel room! Lucy blackmails the bellboy into letting her borrow his outfit so she can deliver the paper. That scheme fails wholeheartedly. In the next attempt, Lucy hides under the bellboy’s cart. Through the course of events, Wilde ends up thinking that Bobby is a really talented ventriloquist who can throw his voice across the room. The scheme comes off well, but Lucy ends up being left behind in Wilde’s room. Desperate to get out, she attempts to climb down the balcony using a makeshift rope that she crafts out of a beach towel. The funniest part of the entire episode is Ethel trying to distract Ricky from seeing Lucy’s legs dangling from the balcony.
I Love Lucy, Ep. 79 “The Million Dollar Idea” January 11, 1954
This weekend, “A Shroud of Thoughts” is hosting a blogathon. The theme is “Favorite TV Show Episode.” I knew that I would have to write about an episode from my favorite television show of all time–“I Love Lucy.” But which episode?! They’re all so great. It was difficult to narrow it down. I didn’t want to write about “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” (aka “The Vitameatavegamin Episode”) or “Job Switching” (Lucy & Ethel work in the chocolate factory) or “Lucy’s Italian Movie” (Lucy stomps grapes) because I feel like those are the episodes that are always trotted out when someone discusses the best “I Love Lucy” episodes. While I adore these episodes, there are many other great episodes that deserve recognition. I settled on “The Million Dollar Idea.” A hilarious episode that features one of my favorite quotes. On paper, it’s not really that funny, but Lucy’s delivery of the line makes it.
“The Million Dollar Idea” opens with the Ricardos and Mertzes having dinner in the living room.
Ethel (Vivian Vance) and Fred (William Frawley) rave about Lucy’s (Lucille Ball) homemade salad dressing. Lucy admits that it is her Aunt Martha’s recipe. Fred tells Lucy that she should consider bottling and selling it. Ricky (Desi Arnaz) on the other hand, takes this opportunity to remind Lucy that her bank account is overdrawn…again. They have an off-screen battle over the household accounts.
The next morning, Lucy decides that she’s going to take Fred’s idea and bottle and sell her Aunt Martha’s Salad Dressing. She enlists Ethel’s help and the ladies are in business. They come up with a product name: Aunt Martha’s Old Fashioned Salad Dressing. To market their product, Lucy decides to take advantage of her friendship with “frenemy” Carolyn Appleby (not seen in the episode) since she remembered that Carolyn’s husband Charlie works at a television station. “[We’ll] cut her in, to the tune of, say, three cents a bottle,” Lucy tells Ethel. “Yeah. She likes that kind of music,” Ethel agrees. They decide to go on The Dickie Davis Show.
On the show, Ethel appears as “Mary Margaret McMertz,” a parody of popular radio show host Mary Margaret McBride who dispensed household advice to women for over 40 years. Ethel touts the salad dressing and asks an “average housewife, picked at random, from [the] audience” to come up on stage. Of course, this wasn’t a random selection at all. It is Lucy, disguised as average housewife Isabella Klump. Ms. Klump raves about the salad dressing, to the point where she’s literally drinking it from the jar! Ethel asks her viewers to write (623 E. 68th Street) or call (CIrcle 7-2099) to place their orders. Of course, Ethel holds the cards backwards and then upside down, but that doesn’t hurt orders. By the end of the show, Lucy and Ethel have 23 orders–at the bargain price of 40 cents a quart!
Back at home, Lucy and Ethel get to salad dressing production. As far as I can tell, the ingredients in the salad dressing are: oil, salt and onions. One has to assume there must be some vinegar in there? But the dressing isn’t a vinaigrette–it looks more like mayonnaise. Perhaps the dressing has eggs in it and when emulsified, it becomes more of mayonnaise type dressing? Then there are the onions. Big pieces of onion only cut into quarters. Maybe it goes into the blender next? Not sure. Regardless, Lucy and Ethel have horribly under-priced their product. Ricky, who obviously has more business acumen than Lucy (he does manage the Tropicana Club, after all), decides to calculate Lucy and Ethel’s profit. After calculating the cost of the ingredients, the cost of the jars and the cost of the labels and dividing it by their 23 orders, Ricky determines that they’ll churn out a 3 cent per jar profit–the same profit that was promised to Carolyn Appleby. He tells Lucy that that figure doesn’t even include shipping, mailing, insurance, taxes or overhead. “Oh. Well. If you’re going to figure all that stuff,” Lucy tells him. Ricky urges Lucy and Ethel to get out of the salad dressing business. Fred then enters the kitchen carrying an enormous bag of mail, one of three bags that were delivered. “We must be terrific television salesmen!” Ethel declares.
Dismayed at the thought of having to produce so many jars of non-profit salad dressing, Lucy and Ethel decide to return to The Dickie Davis Show. They figure if they’re so good at selling the dressing, that they’ll be good at “un-selling it.” The next day, Mary Margaret McMertz is back. She once again advertises Aunt Martha’s Old Fashioned Salad Dressing and invites “an average housewife, picked at random, from [the] audience.” Of course, Lucy comes up on stage, this time as country bumpkin, “Lucille McGillicuddy.” Mrs. McGillicuddy smells the dressing and is immediately disgusted. “Smell it” she tells McMertz. McMertz smells it and is taken with the same bad smell. “How about that? Looks like Aunt Martha had too many old-fashioneds” Mrs. McGillicuddy says. McMertz asks Mrs. McGillicuddy to taste the dressing. After getting over her initial repulsion and the promise of a new jar, Mrs. McGillicuddy takes a swig. She’s overcome with disgust and looks for a place to spit it out. “What’s Aunt Martha trying to do? Poison me?” she asks.
Under great duress, Mary Margaret McMertz says, “Friends, I can no longer endorse this product. If you have ordered it, send in your cancellations.”
Which brings me to my favorite part of the episode. Falling to the floor after drinking the vile salad dressing, Mrs. McGillicuddy pops up and says:
“CANCEL! CANCEL!”
McMertz once again shares the cancellation phone number and address.
Mrs. McGillicuddy reappears. “AND DO IT NOW!” she pleads.
After the show, the girls are sure that they’ve succeeded in getting out of making all the salad dressing. Fred brings in more sacks of mail. Lucy and Ethel excitedly start reading the postcards. “Cancellations!” they think. Except they’re not. They’re more orders! 1133 more orders to be exact. Lucy and Ethel decide to purchase salad dressing from the store, remove the labels and attach their own labels. It’s not entirely honest and costs 50 cents a quart (10 cents more than their product), but they can get their scheme over and done with in the shortest amount of time. Lucy and Ethel, decked out in matching outfits, some sort of apron vest like thing (looks like something that a newspaper delivery boy would wear), roller skates and shopping carts (that they got from somewhere. I doubt that people with minimal storage, like in an apartment, would have shopping carts lying around) get ready to deliver their wares. “You take the east side, I’ll take the west side and I’ll be in Jersey a-fore ya!” Lucy tells Ethel.
